FAR AWAY

it's not easy to be away that long, away from home, away from what I love, consequently away from myself.

after traveling around many places that I always have dreamed about it in the last few months, a question is constantly popping in my head:' What the f* Am I leaving here?'

I came to LA saying that I just wanted to learn English to study at UCLA, but I was actually only seeking more human experiences, and then I realized this is the best place to explore my creative mind.

I was so focused on one day far away to become a film director that I let all outside fears get inside my head and did not understand that I could turn that now.

When I was 17, I used to have honest conversations with myself. Something that I remember saying was: 'You are getting inside the most expected ages of all times. Enjoy it all, do the most you can, don't be depressed, adulting can become depressing often. I don't know why the most talented people get so sad; they can do anything, don't be like that'.

those inexperienced words are more valued than anything that I have heard in these ten years since then.

what am I leaving in this world? Why am I living here? Why was I born in this generation?

i just have woken up feeling different today, after so many years silenced, always over questioning everything, getting answers deep inside, I don't want to be that far anymore.

I want to be close to all feelings, people, and things that I love. Expressing myself makes me feel close to all this.